The struggle to become half the man i used to be . . .  


DAY#1 - The Confession
It is 3am in the morning and I should be in bed. Actually, I was in bed but I had this thought that wouldn't leave my head. The thought was simple, "You need to loose weight or you will die." Not sure why tonight was the night for that thought, but it was.

Why do I need to loose weight? It is obvious if you know me, I weigh well over 300lbs and have for most of my life. I have tried a ton of different 'diets' some for a whole day, some for over a year. In the end they have all ended the same, I loose weight, I gain it back.

My biggest fear? Is for people to know I am trying to lose weight cause I may fail. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. When it comes to weight I am a failure. I have failed so many times I can not count. For those of you that know me, you don't know how many times I tried to lose weight because I tell no one so when I fail I have nothing to lose and no one to disappoint.

However, today is different, as I laid in bed I decided to be as public about my life style change as I could. To tell the world I am going to lose the weight and keep it off. Somehow I feel like this is my last stand against my bad habits. I am going to either win or they will.

So I am going public, on Facebook. This is not a gimmick or a lie. You may call me crazy, I am.:

My name is Brian Smith, I am a 40 year old father of 5 and husband of 1. I am in the biggest fight of my life to try to conquer 40 years of bad habits so that i can loose weight. I want live long enough to see how my wonderful children turn out. I want to feel energetic enough to play more with my kids. I want more quality time!

I did a search on Facebook for "lose weight" and "weight loss" and found about 2,500 other people who started fan pages for their weight loss. Most of them have <50 fans and the most popular one has 3,000 people. Believe me if 50 people join my group I will be honored that there are 50 people out there that care. However my goal is to do the opposite of what I have always done, so I am facing my fear and I am going public about my attempt to turn my life around. So I am shooting to be the most popular weight loss page on Facebook.

I am asking you to join my fan page, encourage me to loose weight. If you would invite your friends to join too that would be great.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Now I am going to face my fear, and invite all my friends to join.

THANK YOU!

Brian
[2010-03-16]
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Thursday October 18, 2018 - Day #3139