The struggle to become half the man i used to be . . .  


DAY#17 - I should be in jail
I have gone through some desperate food struggles in my life. Yesterday was one of them. I know some of you will relate and others will contemplate calling the local hospital to see if they can haul me away.

When I was in my early 20s I used to drive a few hours away from my house for business once a week, have some meetings and come home. Usually by the time I was on my way home it was late at night and I was hungry for my 'fourth' meal. I would stop at the local Dunkin Donuts before getting on the highway. While in the store I would look at all my selections and try to decide on a donut to buy. But the longer I stood there the more I wanted to try a bunch of donuts and eventually the guy behind the counter would ask me what I wanted and I would start listing donuts and end up with a box of a dozen.

Back in my car and driving down the highway, I would consume my first donut quickly and start on number two or three. By the time i picked up number four, I would be thinking "what am I doing?" I certainly wasn't hungry but the process of chewing food had become a habit, like biting your fingernails. I would say to myself, 'if I keep this up I am gonna eat the whole box' and then in a split second I would be possessed by clear thinking. I rolled down the window, grabbed the box and threw the donuts out of the car as I sped down the highway.

I do not recommend littering and I apologize to whoever had to pick up my litter. I just needed to flee from evil or be consumed by it. I do wonder exxactly what the next person driving down the road behind me thought. Seeing a handful of donuts laying scattered on the blacktop. I am sure it made for an amusing crime scene.

Yesterday, I was having an issue with food. I was hungry and in the mood for food. I rooted through the cupboard found something to eat and then I just took the food out of my cupboard and threw it in the garbage can. I thought to myself, 'that was wasteful,' but at the same time I could have eaten it and it would have been wasteful too. It reminded me of my donuts and the need to flee or be consumed.

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For those of you on your journey for better health you are invited to the weight room. We now have a couple dozen members and a few discussions have started. I am encouraged by the dialog. No pressure, but if you are looking for some friends in the same boat, join us! WEIGHT ROOM

[2010-04-01]
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Saturday December 16, 2017 - Day #2833