The struggle to become half the man i used to be . . .  

DAY#119 - Feeling Demoralized
I can not lie, since Saturday evening I have felt washed out and demoralized. We came home from some events on Saturday and I felt tired and took a little nap which is pretty unheard of in our household. But I managed to get an hour of sleep and when I woke up I felt worse then when I laid down. I hate those type of naps. So I spent the next hour trying to shake it off and I couldn't. I finally said to Shelly I know this is crazy and it is like 8:30pm but lets go to Kohls. I heard they were having a good sale and I wanted some new clothing and I needed to get out of the house for a few to clear my mind. So since Kohls was open to 10pm we ran out for an hour of shopping.

Kohls did me some good. It was a nice pick me up to find some new clothing that fit me. I picked up a bunch for stuff for $7-$8 and added to my new wardrobe. Came home and crashed and woke up to more blah. :( more blah? yeah, I dunno. Sunday was blah and today has started blah too. :( Not sure if I am a coming down with something or what my deal is but I want to feel better. I know I send most of my posts telling you how happy and great everything it going. So just so you don't think my diet is all fun & grand and without blah days. Now you know, I am blah today :)

To top it off I was tired last night, went to bed early but woke up 5 times to pee in the middle of the night. I peed gallons(I thought). 5 times for me is a world record. So I was expecting to see my scale move this morning when i weighed due to the shedding of water. But NO my weight didn't move not even a hair. UGH! How depressing! Depressed and blah.

So does blah change my mind about my diet? No! I am committed to continuing with my plans. It is hard cause in the past I have allowed blah days to turn me to some sort of yummy comfort food to pick me up. So coping with blah has to be different now. Food should have never been my comfort, God should have. So I am trying to give the blah to Him and asking that He takes it away. This is actually a very simple solution, but sometimes takes time for things to change. In our world where I have learned to appreciate instant gratification waiting for God's timing is hard for me. Food can instantly satisfy for a moment, but God's answers to my situations will last forever. So today I hold to these verses.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

I Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

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Saturday July 11, 2020 - Day #3771