January 2004 Archives

Our neighbor lady called yesterday and offered us some used clothing. We were very thankful and appreciated every piece. But this kind exchange has lead me to having an interesting thought. Our neighboors are mennonite(strict) and made the comment to our wife that a friend of theirs gave them some clothing they had outgrown and being the nice lady my neighbor is she accepted but wasn't too into the clothing cause it wasn't mennonite clothing.

When she called my wife she offered the clothing by saying, "some of the clothing is RED, and our people do not wear RED. But I think you do wear RED so maybe you would be interested." We were, and I am not telling this story to belittle my neighbor lady in any way. I love her and her husband they are the best neighbors you could ask for!

But that exchange got me to thinking. So mennonites do not wear RED. Hmmmm. I guess she is right. I talked with Shelly about this and she reminded me that many years ago no one that went to church wore RED. Red was the sign of loose women and was worldy.

That amused me. Cause I belive the cool worldly color of today is BLACK. the Goths wear black, Sexy women wear black to nightclubs, movie stars are always wearing black, Rappers drive black SUV's (with tinted windows), etc.

I am thinking about pointing this out to my neighbors to let them know that perhaps they need to change their color scheme because without knowing it they have joined the loose worldly people.

Just a thought.

Well due to my actions and my personality I would expect most people that I have known throughout the years would have found me unforgettable. But as I found out tonight that is not the case.

I took a handful of guys to a concert tonight. (Kutless, The Mint, Unsettled) I used to work concerts 10 years ago so I met some people who I had spent tons of time with in the past. The two women who sell tickets at the concerts I have known for at least 12 years I spent 4 years working every concert with them and the last 8 years I see them at least 1 to 2 times a year.

Well tonight I walked up to the ticket table and said hello and they looked at me strangely. They didn't have a clue as to who I was, but they did know I looked familiar. After I spoke with them for a bit one of them finally recognized me by voice.

Anyway I left the conversation feeling very good about myself. Obviously my weight loss is working. It is hard for me to see cause I look in the mirror every hour and the person I see looks the same to me. But for those people who only see me a few times a year my weight loss must be much more dramatic.
Tonight, I am pleased.

Well it is official I have been doing Denise Austin Aerobics for 3 weeks. The first few days I felt like a total fool. Flailing my arms around in the air and stumbling around trying to keep up with Denise. Well 21 days later I am on my way to mastering my workout. I definitely feel better and am mastering my exercise.

Denise has a new workout everyday on the TV and TIVO records them all for me. I watch most of them and have not found one that I like as much as the original one I started with. I feel it was a God thing that the first one I recorded was a routine I like to do. I am afraid that if one of the other routines was the one I tried first I would have given up. So I think God knew how to help me out.

So will I be doing Aerobics in 3 more weeks? I hope so.

I would like the ability to go into the future. Perhaps 3, 6, or 12 months. I am curious if the things that i am working hard at today will be around in the future. Things like my weight loss, my exercise program, my job. Will it all be worth it? Will I be fat and unemployeed. Will I discover the next new internet tool? Will I be buff and kick sand in the faces of skinny guys at the shore? Will I be satisfied? Will I still be obsessed? Will I just trust in God and Knock this stupid thought out of my head.

Today I broke 90lbs lost. I actually am at 91lbs since starting Atkins. This puts me closer to my second goal of my weight loss which is 100lbs. I am hoping to hit 100 before Feb 12. I think that will be an easy goal. My next goal was to be at 125lbs lost by my next doctors appointment which the end of March. That could be a hard goal to meet. My weight loss currently falls between 3 to 4 pounds a week. There is not much I can do to improve that. I am following Atkins to the best of my ability and exercising everyday. I am happy and if I continue to loose 3-4lbs a week by summer I will be in fine shape.

It also amazes me that I have not lost much in inches around my chest or waist in the last 2-3 weeks. However I lot another inch around my neck and my shoes feel loose. It would be ok if my body would just concentrate on my chest and waist. I can deal with a thick neck and big feet.

So is atkins a multi level marketing program? I believe so.

Proof:

Dan Vanvleet is the person the first introduced me to Atkins and for that I am grateful. His Friend introduced him(by losing a good bit of weight).

So far since losing weight I have had a few people start atkins because of me:

Hillary Keller(inspired her to get back on the diet)
Jeanie Yordy(15 lbs so far)
Sandy Beamesderfer(10 lbs so far)
Lyle Wenger(lost weight and quit )
Grandpa Yordy(15-20lbs so far)
Grandma Yordy(gained a pound? but is now trying the strict no carb diet)

On the Fence:
Cindy Smith, Sister(In Deep thought about it)

So Atkins is a big tree sprouting branches that sprout branches that sprout branches. If this was Amway I would be on my way to making my first thousand.

I want a day off, Let me rephrase that, I need a day off. AND not a day off like I have had recently. Actually I can not remember a day off that was a real day off.

A day off is a day where not much happens. No work, No Housework, No Errands, No Nothing! Just rest in a vegetative state. Sleeping late and then perhaps a nice seat on the sofa watching some TIVO followed by a nap. Followed by a bath, Followed by a nice meal that I didn't have to cook or clean up. Followed by some more TIVO or a good DVD. Perhaps the V miniseries DVD collection that I bought months ago and have no time to watch.

My typical day off is nowhere close to this. Today is Saturday a supposed day off. I woke at 8:00am to 4 boys in Caleb's Bedroom playing (sleepover for his birthday). Both parents are late now in picking up there kids. Which is totally understandable(it is snowing). The Kralls are still on the turnpike somewhere, The VanVleets want me to drive their kids home. SO right now all the kids are rolling around on our living room floor wrestling. (not peaceful) And I just got off the phone with Kevin Clancy (long LOST friend) he is in town for a day and will be stopping by. Elsie's friend called and invited her to a birthday party tomorrow afternoon. So we need to go shopping for a present. SO NO DAY OFF today. Tomorrow(SUNDAY) the supposed day of rest. Will be full of Church, a Birthday Party & Youth Bible Study followed by Game night. NO DAY OF REST.
And ofcoarse on top of both of these days I will spend atleast a few hours doing email, and cooking, and bathing dirty children. Add to this my new need to excercise daily. And there will be no rest found.

Now I must say I made the choices in my life that have led to me never having a DAY OFF. I chose to get married and have children. I chose to work with our Youth Group. I chose my job. And as far as I am concerned they are all good choices. And I would never trade my wife or children for a DAY OFF. But I would love to figure out how we could all experience one together.

days inn room 111--- 865-4064

Not sure if I miss late nights anymore. I used to regularly stay up till 3am in the morning. Last night I stayed up till about 4:45am before heading to bed. I am not a happy camper. I am a tired boy today. I never thought I would be a morning person and I do not think I am there yet, But I am not a late night person anymore.

I find it interesting that my body has changed significantly in the last couple of months. However I still feel like the same person and I do not like that. Don't get me wrong I like being leaner and meaner and i have more energy than I have had in years. (i regularly make trips to our barn to fetch stuff and I run both ways) But the energy and skinnier body haven't really caught up with my overall feelings.

The person inside of me is still the same lazy fat kid who feels inadequate. Every week I go to atkins.com and fill out my profile in 'MY ATKINS' and one of the questions it asks me weekly is: What is your overall attitude(Positive, Negative or Neutral). Answering truthfully I have to say neutral every week. I want to be positive, but that is never where I am at.

I thought after losing XX number of pounds I would be happier, more dynamic, friendlier, (greener grass). The truth is I haven't changed a bit on the inside.

So my next goal might need to center around a lifestyle change on the inside as well as the outside.

The human body is amazing and I have yet to understand it. For 5 days my weight had not moved and this morning it still had not moved. I was starting to believe i might be in a holding pattern for weeks. When this afternoon out of the blue I stepped on the scale and I had dropped 2lbs. What gives?

I have no clue. I did not do anything different. I didn't even go to the bathroom before weighing. Where does two pounds go? Come to think of it, I do not care as long as it doesn't come back.

I am feeling stepped on again. It is never a nice feeling. I struggle with how to deal with feeling stepped on. There is my human side which wants to tell someone off and there is my Christian side which still wants to tell them off, but tries to turn the other cheek. I pray that I do not step on people, I am sure I do and I hope that I can be more careful about my thoughts and actions in the future. Cause I certainly do not like it and do not want to put other people through it.

I love Sunday Nights. Sunday Night is Youth Bible Study at our house. And despite horrible conditions we had 9 kids show up tonight. We talked about being aware of our surroundings and being observant of other people both at school and at youth group. Everyone left with an assignment to spend 5 minutes during youth group getting to know someone new and 5 minutes observing people and looking for those that might need extra attention.

Very good discussion.

After bible study was over, Lyle and Dave stopped by for games. We played Goldland and Transamerica. I lost both. Lyle cut me off in Goldland making it very hard to win. And in Transamerica I picked awful cards making it impossible to win. such is life.

When I was a boy my Grandma Smith was one of my favorite people in the world. She lived down the hill from me in a large farm house. I would walk down the field to visit her a few times a week. While I was there I would help her with whatever she was working on at the time. Planting geraniums in front of her house, hanging laundry, making sandwiches for the men working in the fields. Whatever she was doing she included me. She would also sing to me as we worked. She sang several songs, but my favorite, the one that stuck with me was "Trust and Obey." She sang the chorus:

Trust and obey, for there﨎 no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

When I was in fifth grade, one Sunday I was bored in church. I opened the hymnal and started leafing through. And that day I made an amazing discovery. Trust and Obey was more than just a chorus it was a full hymn. I was so excited by this I took the hymnal along home with me and memorized the whole song. When I was 12 I earned my music merit badge playing Trust and Obey on my trumpet. When I was 14 and became an Eagle Scout I had it sung at my Eagle ceremony(by Randy Ebersole). I loved that song.

When Shelly & I were planning our wedding, we both wanted to have our favorite hymn sang as part of our wedding. When I inquired what hymn she wanted sang she said "Trust and Obey" her favorite hymn.

So I thank Grandma Smith for her Trust And Obedience in God through her song and her everyday life. She was a great role model for me growing up. She hid truth in my heart through song.

These words have long been hidden in my heart and I doubt I will ever forget them or the lady that sang them to me.

85 Pounds ago my body was a furnace. I slept with no sheet or just a sheet with my bare feet sticking out the bottom. I walked around the house in a pair of shorts and i sweated at the drop of the hat. I rarely wore a sweater or long sleeved shirt, I went winters without a warm coat. I even wore shorts in December.

NOT ANYMORE. This week it feels like I am the coldest I have ever been in my life. I wear socks to bed and keep warm under a down comforter. I always wear socks and slippers around the house. I find it much more difficult to stay warm.

My fat was a great insulator. Definately kept me toasty. I miss my toastiness. I do not like wearing layers of clothing or being cold. I can't say i miss sweating 24/7. No one likes sweat, but it was nice being warm.

This will probably be a good thing this summer, perhaps i will not feel as hot.

A few years ago i had an idea for a virtual web game. I called it snowballblast.com. I made the whole site myself except for the main graphics.
It is a fun little game that anyone with a web browser can play. The year I made it we promoted it heavy on wjtl and gave away a snowblower to the winner. We had 849 people play in the WJTL game. Kinda cool to think 849 people were sitting at there computers all playing a game i made.

Snowballblast is almost a living creation. It maintains itself through a daily series of timed scripts. And people come and go, win and loose and I never lift a finger or even think about it. It just has a life of it's own. Kinda weird to think of it that way.

Last week my wife suggested that I arrange for our youth group to play snowballblast, so i logged in for the first time this year and took a look around at the database. I was amused that people still play snowballblast. Over 500,000 snowball have been thrown in just over 1,000 games. People have logged in from places like Alaska & Guam to play. Actually the only state that I see that hasn't had a player is Hawaii. Perhaps people in Hawaii just do not appreciate snow ball fights.

Anyway thought that was interesting. Sometimes you just never know what you are doing or whose life you are touching.

Well it is official, the waiting is over, we are gonna have a girl. Now the next major task is to name her. We have been throwing around a few names, but no decision. I guess we still have a few weeks.

In the meantime I have dragged the boxes of girl's clothes in from the barn.

Grandma Good died this morning. She was 78. Grandma Good is Shelly's Mother's Mother. She had had a major stroke last week which left her with very limited abilities. The best part of Grandma Good's death is that she is in heaven. About 6 months ago, Shelly shared about her Grandma with Thom Keller, our pastor. Well that week he stopped by and visited her in the nursing home. During the visit Grandma Good talked with Thom about God and accepted Christ. What a great blessing from God.

Now with that said we have to live through the funeral and preperations.

There is no worse enemy that the scale. How could it be my enemy? It is just a measuring device. Perhaps I should say it this way. The love of the scale is the root of all dieting(change of lifestyle) evil.

When I first started Atkins, I had no scale. I would go to the Doctor's office one a week and get weighed. I did this because atkins said only weigh yourself once a week and because I really weighed too much to get an acurate reading on a home scale.

After three months of trips to the doctors office, I bought myself a scale for Christmas and have avoided going tot he flu ridden doctors office since.

Before i owned the scale i used to make fun of my friend Lyle. Lyle would weigh himself all the time. I think everytime he passed his scale he stepped on it. He is a statistics freak and likes numbers and likes to record in his brain what his body is doing. But still i thought it to be a loosing battle for Lyle. The human body is always gaining and loosing weight everyday. Heck, a gallon of water weighs 8 pounds if you drink a ton of water all day you will gain weight. And once it passes you loose weight. Anyway Lyle hated to see that the scale went up and down. And I think it discouraged him.

So after getting the scale I became like lyle. The weighing freak. I now weigh myself atleast 4 times a day. Watching every ebb and tide of the scale. I actually have become pretty used to my daily weight gain and loss at various times of the day. And i picked a certain time of day I weigh myself for my 'offical' weigh in.

For the last week I have been regulary weighing myself at a specific time. And everyday I have noticed a loss in weight. This has been a good motivator. But today is not the case. Today my scale has not budged.

Now I am quesitoning myself. What did i do yesterday. I ate the same. I excercised. What could i have done wrong to cause one day to be bad. I am now the basketcase I preached against.

I think I am gonna go weigh myself now.

I read my past 7 entries and have realized that all I do is talk about mysellf and Atkins(loosing weight). There is a bunch more going on in my life and my only guess as to why I do not write about it is that it is yucky.

Elsie, Miriam & Caleb had been sick all last week with Brochitus(sp?) and a sinus infection. Shelly has had the same and also a bladder infection. Coupled with her last trimester of pregnancy she is exhausted and has needed much sleep. On top of that Shelly's Grandma Good had a major stroke. (which has been a scarey wake up call, since shelly's mom just had a minor stroke) Grandma Good has just gotten worse as the week past. Culminating this morning with a phone call to the family that today could be her last. These items have kept us from being the normal productive family we usually are.

So that is family life in a nutshell. Now back to our regularly scheduled rants.

About a month after I started losing weight I noticed my pants were baggy and my shirts had extra room. This prompted a huge weight loss fashion show. With my wife rolling her eyes and me trying on most of the clothing in my closet. When we moved 3 years ago I got rid of most of my clothing that didn't fit. There were not many pieces of clothes that were a size smaller left. However I held on to my Drexel Sweatshirt. I bought my Drexel Sweatshirt in 1987 when I was a freshman. I loved my drexel sweatshirt And wore it for 4 years until it became too tight and it moved to the back of my closet. When I tried it on that night it was obvious that eventhough I lost weight I still was not a 2XL. The shirt fit like a very tight glove infact it was more like a chinese finger puzzle. The more i pulled to get it on or off the tighter it fit. Which prompted much laughing from my wife. I am glad i do not have that moment on tape.

Well it has been awhile since i tried on my sweatshirt so I thought I would give it a try this morning. Well it fits better than before. I can actually wear it. It is a bit snugger than I like to wear my clothing but it fits. My wife recalls me wearing it when we were first dating in 1989 and she said it was tight then. So for the first time in 15 years I am wearing my college sweatshirt.

okay, if you are not sitting down sit down. I have some news for you and i am afraid if I tell you while you are standing up you will fall on the floor and start laughing. So i thought if you were seated you would be closer to the ground.

I finally decided on an exercise option that works for me(atleast right now). I have been for the past four days doing the the Denise Austin workout. Yup big ole me rolling around the living room watching Denise Austin effortlessly kick her legs in the air.

How long will I be able to handle following Denise as she lunges and kicks and talks effortlessly without breaking a sweat? I dunno. But atleast I am doing something.

Personally I am glad God didn't want me to become a dancer. I have realized that I can barely do two things at one time without falling over. Coordinated hand and leg motions to the beat of the music might be the death of me. And the commercials breaks on the "lifetime for women" network are the worst.

For whatever crazy reason i have decided to publish my food journal i keep at fitday.com. It is a list of everything i have eaten since mid october. You can check out my food for each day. This also contains a report on my current weight. Wasn't sure I wanted to be public with my weight, but so be it.

When I started Atkins I weighed 375lbs, I had weighed more in the past, According to the doctor I had weighed 390 at one time. During my last try at loosing weight before Miriam was born I tried a scale at the mall it told me i weighed just over 400lbs. I was never sure if that one was right. Anyway it is hard to believe that i could weigh that much, but i think i was in deep denial. I now weigh 297lbs. So just under 80lbs. lost since atkins and approaching 100lbs. lost from my heaviest point. And I still have a long way to go.

Ok, I have had my taste of the 'other' side. Last night was dress opposite night at Youth Group. So if you dressed normal you had to dress weird, if you dressed weird you had to dress normal and such.

The kids really wanted to see me dressed like a goth. An interesting concept cause it is not who I am in the least. But I am always up for a challenge and anything worth doing is worth doing well. etc.

So with Shelly and the kids home sick I went to church dressed in black. If you are lucky I will find a picture and publish it. :)

I really enjoy playing board games. And my current favorite is Domaine. An fun strategy game i got for Christmas and have been playing with my wife almost every night for the past week. We got started playing board games with our friend Lyle. One night two years ago he brought over Setlers of Catan to play after we watched Survivor. we were hooked after the first game. I can't even begin to imagine how many games we played those first few weeks.

Settlers gave way to dozens of other board games mere mortals don't even know exist. you can find most of my favorites at Game Surplus. Perhaps someday i will post my top ten list.

Playing games with my wife & Lyle is fun, but I am looking forward to the future when our whole family can sit around the table and spend hours playing games together. Currently we can play SORRY as a family which is not really my style but the kids enjoy it. I just can not wait to see thier minds grow and eventually they will be kicking my butt at Domaine & Settlers.

BTW. Thanks for the game, Lyle!

So i read an article today that says when doling Atkins and other weight loss programs you need to drink more water than what you are told. And for really big people that is a must. They estimated you need to drink 1oz. of water a day for every two pounds of weight. So I cranked it up a notch and started drinking about twice the amount of water than I usually do.

I am peeing a river now.

Funny that i am finding it hard to type anything of worth. I have had the edit page open on my puter for days and haven't typed anything.