May 2004 Archives

The last two days have been filled with pain. Saturday night I stood up to get my wife a glass of water and pain flew into my left foot. Nope, I know what you are thinking, it was not the gout.(from my experience) The pain came at the top of my foot Near where I would tie my sneakers and slightly toward the inner side. Man did it hurt, Kinda burned and ached and kept me awake for a good part of Saturday Night into Sunday morning. I called the Doctor Sunday Morning, he said it could be a bunch of things, including a stress fracture. Anyway I should put some ice on it, elevate it, rest & meds. So that is what I have been doing.

We didn't go to church on Sunday Morning and I cancelled our Bible Study for Sunday Night. Neither of these things made me happy.

Today is a bit better I am hoping to be healed soon. Hopefully that doesn't mean it was anything awful, but whatever it was I hope it stays away.

There are very few possessions I cherish, my wedding ring is one of them. My ring has not left my finger for a day in my marriage. I wear it 24/7. I have done this for 9 years and hope to do it for the rest of my life. Why so important? It represents my bond and my relationship with my wife.

Since loosing weight my ring has been slipping off my fingers. After a few weeks of loosing weight I had to move my ring from my left ring finger to my left thumb and then to my left middle finger. For the last four months, my ring has been living on my left middle finger. But slowly and surely my middle finger has lost weight too. This past week my ring has fallen off my middle finger at least a dozen times. The good news is I have been able to retrieve it easily, but the fact that it keeps slipping off has me scared because I do not want to loose my ring.

So now my ring slips off all the fingers on my left hand and it also slips off four of the five fingers on my right hand. So I am down to one finger(my right thumb). It has a a think enough knuckle that the ring still catches and stays on.

The bummer is that my right thumb is probably the worst place for my ring. Since I am right handed the ring seems to get in my way. So I catch myself putting it back on my left middle finger. Just hoping I do not forget myself and loose it.

Not sure what my next move is. I would like to wait until I am done loosing weight and get my ring resized to fit perfectly at my new weight. But at the same time I want to wear my ring and I am afraid I will loose it.

3.6m 44m -75.1t

Ok, I am having a craving, I need pork rinds. But not just any pork rinds, Pork rinds that come from only one place. The little vendor who sits in front of the Cabela's store in Hamburg,PA. The sign on the front of their out building says Kettle Corn, but inside that small building they sell the best home made Pork Rinds that money can buy. I must admit some pork rinds are pretty nasty tasting and have a funny odor, but the Cajun flavored pork rinds from the vendor in front of Cabela's are the world's best.

It all started in December when my sister bought me two bags of Pork Rinds from there for a Christmas present. The cajun flavored were the best and the regular flavor was good too. I devoured the bags in no time flat and it left me wanting more. A month later I went with my wife and mother-in-law to a wholesale show in Allentown and on the way home I made a specific trip to Cabela's, I never set foot inside the store. I just drove up to the front of the building to visit the Pork Rind Vendor. I bought 4 bags that day. I ran out of Pork rinds a week or two later and have been craving them ever since.

Last month my friend Lyle went to Cabela's for a shopping trip and I begged him to pick me up a few bags. I was very sad when he came home empty handed. The vendor had run out that day and wasn't expecting a new delivery till the weekend.

So I am thinking about driving to Cabela's just to buy pork rinds. My only problem is that it really is a waste of time for our family. Right now since Ruth demands so much time, spending a few hours driving to Cabela's and back is a waste. And there is always a chance that the vendor will not have any. So I decided to call the vendor just to toy with my emotions and see if he would have some pork rinds. But I couldn't figure out his phone number. So I called Cabela's The girl who answered said she knew the person out front sold pork rinds. But had no more information. I almost begged her to walk out front and ask the guy or just walk out front and sniff a bag of them for me. But she seemed way too bothered and busy to do that.

I wish I had a bag right now.

So perhaps I can plead with my readers. I am sure one of you will be making a trip to Cabela's or driving on route 78 past Cabela's sometime in the near future. If you think about it. Stop at the kettle corn vendor out front and buy me a few bags of Pork Rinds. I will gladly pay you for them.

3.6m 46m -71.5t

I have had a hard time this past week feeling satisfied. For starters I just am not pleased with the food I have been eating. I can not say that this was even an issue for me for months, but this past week cravings and psychological hunger have been attacking me. And as if that wasn't enough for me to deal with what I am eating is not leaving me feeling full. I can remember back to the beginning when after my first week I was hunger free for months. That is not the case anymore. I know that the 'experts' will say that I probably am cheating or have fudged in my plan someway and that my hunger and unsatisfaction come from that. Well I am here to tell you, I have not waivered from my plan. Currently I am being very strict and I am doing well as far as weigh loss is concerned.

But there have been days recently, like today, where I am ready to throw in the towel. Give up with only a few pounds remaining. Just to be done. Perhaps that is what I crave most today, I crave to be done. Finished with this weight loss, finished with eating by a specific plan, finished with weighing myself and finished with wondering how it will end.

I guess I am ready for the finish line, I am ready to cross and be done. I am ready to get on with whatever is next. But I fear that the road ahead is still long. I fear that the last pounds of weight to loose will come off slow. That my transition from weight loss lifestyle to regular lifestyle will be slow and full of experimenting to see what I can and can not eat. All these thoughts and plans and the emotions that go along with them are leaving me feeling yucky.

I just want to kick back, relax and feel satisfied.

Woke up this morning to run, stepped out of bed and my foot was throbbing and achey. Why yes, I have the gout. Bummer, I hate the gout. So i took some of my meds for the gout and went back to bed. The bad news is the meds make me really tired and sleepy. So it is now an hour and a half later and I am awake, but not really. My head is spinning and I feel the need to lay down.

Very bummed about the gout, this makes the fourth time(?) I have had gout in the last 7 months. It usually lasts about 5 days. The good news is that compared to the first time when I didn't know what it was and let it get so bad that I couldn't walk without getting tears in my eyes I now can pop some pills which start to reverse the process in 24 hours.

For right now however it is awful trying to be awake my head is having a hard time concentrating on anything and I need to go lay down.

Played domaine 4 times today. Just want to let you all know it is still one of my favorite games.

My wife loves cows. The first time I met her, she was walking her cow at my uncle's farm. She actually went on to win local and regional contests for showing cows and even competed in states. (She has the blue ribbons to prove this). Some day I am hoping to buy her a cow to have for a pet, but first i need to fix our fence(another story). Anyway so cows are cool.

With that said, they have also become my fierce competitors. Most days when I run I am greeted by cows from several farms along my path. They like to walk over to the fence line to watch me run by. I usually talk to them and some times they follow me along the fence line and sometimes they run out of terror. But I think they are getting used to me.

However today, our relationship took a turn toward the competitive side. One farm along my route has a U shaped field with one of the long arms of the U laying next to the road. Well the cows were at the top of the U standing in the corner next to the road to meet me. I ran past them and greeted them. When without warning and out of nowhere the farmer stepped out of the shadows and unhooked the gate on the other side of the U. It must have been feeding time cause the cows were excited. Before I knew it the cows were galloping down the U along side of me. As the farmer watched, I felt the need to keep up with the cows. I huffed and puffed and stayed up in pace with the cows for a good distance.

Then from the back of the pack a white cow with a few black spots let out a moo and pushed past all the others in the pack. This started a frenzy among the rest of the cows who took off like lightening to keep up with her. Needless to say it was all I could do to keep pace with them before. This extra push of energy found me at the back of the pack.

By the time the cows hit the bottom corner of the U they had all passed me and were making the turn to run back the other side toward the gate and their food. I lost a sprint to a heard of cows, how embarrassing.

For all you low carb is bad fanatics telling me that not enough carbs makes you grumpy and that it could possible effect your brain, My friends at Relevant Magazine pointed this out to me yesterday . . . .

Apparently eating too many carbs makes you write really bad music . . .

3.6m 44m -67.9t

It has been ten years since my life took a dramatic change. It has been a long time, but yet it feels like yesterday.

Ten years ago right now, I was sitting in my office in Nashville talking on the phone and making a deal when my sister called. She was panicked and upset. My father had fallen while working on a roof at our farm. As the events of the next 24 hours unfolded I would find myself flying to PA to be with my family, my father dying just minutes before I got to the hospital.

A week later a wind sheer/tornado destroyed our farm while my mother and I were in one of the barns. What an eventful week. I moved home from Nashville to help the best I could and I never returned.

I miss my father at the funniest times. Like when he would walk into a room and throw his hands in the air and do a Rocky style dance for our family. I am not sure why he did that, but I will never forget it. I have also found myself doing the same thing in front of my kids. (go figure)

He would have been happy to see me lose weight. He never said much about it other than to encourage me when I needed it. My dad was a good guy. He took care of our family and provided for us. He loved God. He was the type of guy who could start a conversation with anyone. He liked working with teens. He always turned off lights to conserve energy. He ate weird things like peanut butter on top of raw cabbage. And he loved watching the news on TV.

There are many more things I could say and perhaps someday I will. But for now, Dad you are missed.

Well last night I took my family and my mother to the JCPenney Outlet for some clothing shopping. JCP is one of my favorite places to go since I lost weight. Mostly, because I do not have a ton of money and the clothing is cheap.

I was able to find swim trunks for $4.99 and shirts as low as $2.99. So hurray for deals. I took back two pair of shorts I bought for summer cause they were size 38 and will soon be too big for me. So since I had not worn them I thought I would trade them in. I got $30 for the shorts and was able to buy a bunch of other stuff. To my surprise I was able to fit into size L for shorts and XL for shirts. THis is another drop in size for me. I am not sure I will shrink much further, but I am happy with my new clothing size.

Today was garden day. Should have had our garden work done by mother's day but life has kept us a bit behind. Well better late than never I say.

After a few hours of rotatilling, picking up rocks, shoveling dirt, the garden is ready to be planted. I was tired. I

Went into the house to take a shower and passed by the scale in the bathroom, so I need to step on it. Good News! I am back to my weight from before my break and I also lost some. So it took me 6 days to get back on track. Hoping this week will take me closer to my goal.

3.6m 52m -64.3t

Today I decided to run ten minutes earlier than before. I thought this to be a wise decision. I really didn't want to 'run' into the amish running woman again. I am not sure I could deal with the head tricks again. But of coarse, what a difference 10 minutes makes.

Today my run was timed perfectly to coincide with all my neighbors leaving for work. My nerves were on edge as I would see a garage door opening and a car rolling down their driveway only to pause and watch me run past. This happened 3 times. One guy even had trash bags in the back of his truck and he was unloading them at the end of his lane. He watched me the whole time. Why can't people mind their own business.

But this was nothing compared to my what laid around the last turn. Just to my luck and my fortunate timing I ran into a pack of a dozen High Schoolers waiting for the bus. And just to my luck the bus came as I crossed their path.

I passed the obstacle the best I could. And my house was only a quarter mile up the last hill. Finally I would be safe. Then the bus started following. The driver not wanting to risk going around me because she couldn't see oncoming traffic because of the hill. The bus driver slowly followed me up the hill, very, very slowly. She was waiting for me to clear the hill so she could pass me safely. ugh. Now I am slowing a bus down. Gotta speed up, gotta get off the road.
Run Brian, Run. Perhaps mornings aren't a good time.

3.6m 45m -60.7t

My brain wanders and today is no exception. I was listening to some Steve Taylor Music and started thinking. This guy is one of the coolest Musician/Artist types I can think of. I bet he has a cool house. The coolest house I have ever been in was designed by some other Musician/Artist types and Nashville Residents Eddie & Susan DeGarmo. They have a very nice place. It was big, but that didn't impress me as much as the thought and creativity that went into the house.

So I was thinking if my wife and I could brainstorm and design a house of our dreams. I would invite Steve Taylor and Susan DeGarmo to sit with us and brainstorm. For what it is worth.

Where do these thoughts come from? I dunno. But thought I would share my momentary loss of focus/brain control with you.

This morning I woke up at 6:20 and decided to go for my run. I never have run this early before and thought it would be a cool way to get my exercise in. However I wondered what might be different running early in the morning. Car & truck traffic? School busses? Perhaps nothing.

About a quarter of a mile down the road I noticed a woman in a long black dress and bonnet running or walking very fast with her arms pumping coming toward me on the other side of the road. Hrm? Do amish run? Would they need to? I watched her for a few hundred feet and wondered. Between us and to the left was another road. I was just hoping to get to that road before her. I hate competitions espescially physical competitions. And I could already invision in my head getting to the road first but slowly and steadily she would keep her pace and eventually overtake me. Amish women are bred to be work horses and surely she would overtake me.

This set my mind spinning, perhaps I should slow down and let her get to the road first and if she turns I could stay a safe distance behind her, but what if she is slow and I have to pass her. This could be awkward. NO time for thought, the road was only a few feet ahead and I needed to act.

'Go straight,' my brain urged. 'NO, I never went straight. I do not know my distances going straight, that could throw off my whole mojo.' 'No I need to turn.' Well I got to the road before her and turned. What would happen when she got to the road? Perhaps I was making too much out of this. Perhaps she would go straight past the road.

'Look over your shoulder,' my brain urged. 'NO WAY,' said my pride. I do not want her to know that I know she exists. Perhaps she will go away or being an Amish woman she will stay behind me and refuse to get close to me.

'perhaps she is not even there,' came another thought. 'Just don't think about it, keep a good pace, you can beat her,' 'This is crazy, you are crazy,' 'just look.' These thoughts ran through my mind for another mile as I made my way to the next road. As I turned the corner I casually glanced back and saw . . . .

No one.

3.6m 46m -57.1t

Well may it be known that I had a planned cheat this weekend. I threw my 'diet' out the window and ate what i wanted from Thursday night through Saturday night. I had some chocolate, pasta, popcorn, oatmeal raisin cookies and a few bite size snicker bars. It all tasted pretty good. I still ran on Saturday as planned and come Sunday morning I was back to my 'diet'.

Last month when I cheated for two days I had noted a few things. One was that I gained over 10lbs in water weight in less than 24 hours. The other was that the break from my normal eating pattern actually did me good and accelerated my weight loss efforts. So believing my findings to be true I thought I would try it out again.

Sure enough my water weight came back on just as planned. And as of today is already leaving again. Now to see if my fat weight takes a hike too. Really hoping that an occasional break from my 'diet' keeps my metabolism tricked into burning fat.

So right now I am planning on sticking to my diet & exercise regime until vacation which is just over a month away. Hopefully I can see similar results this next month as I did in the last month.

I am planning another body composition measurement before vacation to track my progress. So my goal is to be under 22% body fat by vacation(which will classify me as in 'fair' shape) and close to my original weight loss goal(which is only 15lbs. away).

3.6m 45m -53.5t

Last night i put the kids in bed at 8pm, kissed my wife and baby and headed out the door to go grocery shopping. I figured it would be a great night to shop for groceries since between survivor and the last episode of Friends the whole world would be at home watching TV. I also chose to go shopping at my local WEIS store which has less traffic than WALMART.

Well I did good. For a good amount of time there were only 3 people in the whole store me, the manager and the checkout guy. This would have been a perfect night, no kids, no other shoppers, and an empty checkout line. But of course life took me for a turn.

While checking out I realized that I was missing my truck keys. Did I loose them in the store? Did I leave them in the truck? Either way, not a good thing.
I went tot he parking lot and discovered I had locked my keys in the truck.

Shelly was at home with the kids who were sleeping, I had no extra keys on me. What to do? I called my neighbor man, Mr. Musser (10pm) asked him if he could get my spare keys from my wife at the house and drive them to me.
Being the great man he is he agreed. That was a good thing cause I was the sole human being standing in the middle of the empty store parking lot. Even the manager and the check out boy left.

ONly I can take a simple night of shopping and turn it into an adventure.

Nine years ago today, I married the woman of my dreams. I fell in love with her because she was compassionate, loving, industrious, she loved kids,had the patience to work with teenagers, old people & animals, and she loved Jesus. (to name a few)

We had met on my Uncle's farm, I was pumping gas into my car and she was walking a her show cow. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was showing one of my Uncle's cows at the local fair. She had a halter around the cows neck and was marching her back and forth around the farm like a dog. Being the kind of person that speaks my mind, I said something to her like, "I am sure you will grow out of this, it won't last." And later I was to find out that she thought I was a jerk. (i was)

Anyway we ran into each other a few more times at the farm and I became interested in her. But it wasn't till about two years later, I was working a grocery delivery business and was making supper one night around 9pm at my parents house. She brought my sister home from Bible School, she walked in the house and invited everyone in my family to go swimming at the Hitz Pool.

I had work to do and didn't want to go, but my parents knowing I worked too much said I should and that they were going to go too. So I went with my sister, my parents never showed. After swimming we went out for pizza. Afterwards I still needed to go grocery shopping for the next day. So Shelly thinking it was an adventure went along with me. We spent a few hours together that night and I knew I wanted her to be mine.

Soon afterwards we started dating. Her friends soon became my friends. This is when I first met Mike Dodson, Doug Gibson, etc. She was incredibly nice and I was a jerky man. I eventually drove her away. (she dumped me, one of the worst days of my life) But I still hung out with her friends and secretly longed for her to be mine.

A year later we dated again for a few months I was helping her with Second Chance, the youth group she was running. This time she dumped me the day before my birthday (in front of the pizza shop in Cleona). My last words to her were you dumped me the day before my birthday so you don't have to buy me anything. (what was i thinking? what a jerk i was!). I still loved her and wanted her to be mine.

After that life changed, I went to LBC to college where I ran into some friends she made there. (She had gone there for a summer). I told them how much I loved Shelly and eventually the news traveled back to her. People kept saying to her, "I met Brian, he really loves you." (this drove her crazy) After LBC, I moved to Nashville. (for what I thought would be the rest of my life)

Shelly says I called her on Christmas Day 1993 after I had been in Nashville for a year and said to her, "Move down here and marry me." I don't remember that, but I am sure I did. My time in Nashville ended a year later when my father died and I moved back home. That one event changed my life for good and bad. Without detailing everything, I miss my dad and the only benefit that I have seen from his death was my move back to Lebanon which was the catalyst for Shelly & I getting back together. A year later Shelly and I were married at the Camp Grove at noon on May 6, 1995. What a great day. What a great wife.

If you see my wife this week wish her a happy anniversary.

When I jog, for fun, I make lists in my head. Kinda like David Letterman, kinda. A Top Ten list of something to look forward to. This comes in handy when I am running up a hill and my head says, "Just stop, it is easier that way". Instead I can think about my Top Ten list and feel motivated.

The one I have been thinking about recently is where I want to go shopping to buy new clothes when I am finished loosing weight. I still have a few more pounds to go, but I am soon ready to go get some clothing. My wardrobe is loosing clothing as fast as I am loosing weight.

So wait no longer, here is my first publicized list. Enjoy it with me, send me comments & suggestions if you wish, or use my list idea to make your own to motivate yourself.

Top Ten places I want to shop for clothing, once I reach my weight goal and have some money to burn:

10. Walmart --everyone likes a cheap deal. And I have been unable to take advantage of cheap deals for most of my adult life. So I will have to make some purchases.
9. Big Dog--old habits die hard. I like Big Dog Clothing. They were there for me when I wore 5&6XL. Now that I got rid of a bunch of X's. I would still wear some of their clothing.
8. JC Penney--They carry some nice clothing, and they also sell Levi's Not even sure if Levi's are cool anymore. But I look forward to buying my first pair of Levi's. (Hoping they are a size 34 or 36)
7. Orvis--They look like they have nice clothing. Wish I could afford a bunch of comfy clothing.
6. Lands End--Once again nice clothing.
5. American Eagle Outfitters--When I was in High School I bought one XXL shirt there that I loved. I never fit in their clothing again.
4. Old Navy--A friend passed me down some size 38 Old Navy Pants and Shorts. I like them and they fit nice. Now they are becoming a bit too big for me, But I still wear them cause I like them.
3. Structures--When I was in Nashville, I went clothing shopping with a friend of mine whose record company had given him a bunch of money to buy a new wardrobe. And I remember thinking to myself I would have love to have had a wad of cash to blow at Structures.
2.Gap--Once again, just to say I bought something at the Gap that fits me will be an accomplishment.
1. Nike Store--Nike was popular when I was a kid and I like sporty clothes. I wouldn't also mind having some new running sneakers. Since my feet have shrank, I have a feeling I can fit into more of a variety of sneakers now.

Not sure if my list meets today's trends and standards and I am not sure that I care if it doesn't. If you have a suggestion of a store or place I should go shopping for clothing drop me a comment. I need to be well informed before I start building my new wardrobe.

Well that is it for now. Perhaps I will share some more of My lists in the future.

I crossed the 150 barrier today. I have been hovering close for a week or two but I have finally lost over 150lbs. This was not one of my pre-set goals but it still is a significant thing to think about. So it took me 214 days to drop 150lbs. In celebration I posted a new set of pix on my weight loss pix page. I am also making an appointment to get my body composition redone. It should be interesting to see how my body has changed since i last did it. I will keep you posted.

New pix page

3.6m -47m pretty cool 46.3t

Well after taking a week off from running, my nose is back to the grindstone. Due to being at GMA and struggling with the gout I had not run for a whole week. Being away definitely set me a few days, I ran the slowest I ever have. So it was either the break or the weather. Hopefully this upcoming week will be better.

3.6m -49m pretty hot 42.7t