Sometimes but not often I do what is right. Tonight was one of those times. Ever since our peer ministry chose the name Aquiline I have felt a nudge in my heart to speak about it. [Aquiline--means eagle like. And the supporting bible verse is Is. 40:30-31] So a month ago I started writing out my lesson, but due to sickness, interruptions, The Passion Movie, & other speakers I have been lazy in getting around to teaching.
Finally on Sunday I told Ray & Brian that I would be teaching tonight. And I did. I have no idea how I was perceived and if my presentation was any good. But after I was done I just felt right about life. I felt used by God. Don't know how to explain it, but I felt like I spoke and did what I felt prompted to do and when I was done, I felt like God said thanks you did what I wanted. It is a good feeling that I wish I had more often.
On a side note: not sure how pastors deal with speaking every week to a few hundred. For me it is a hard job to look into the faces of 50 kids and speak much less their parents. I really wonder what i look like sitting in my chair on a Sunday Morning. Do I roll my eyes, pick my nose, furrow my brow, talk to the person next to me? I wonder how often I am listening? I am often bothered by distractions from people around me. [the kid for lack of a tissue that wipes his nose on his shirt, the girl who write in her journal, the woman who coughs, the man whispers to his wife] I don't know how a speaker can do it with a few hundred distractions. It must be the by grace of God. So come Sunday I hope to be more conscious about the message I am sending back to the speaker. My goal is to be positive. I think that is what I would want.
As long as the intended words are being said and they are heard, then there is no need for you to worry. You shouldn't let the things other people do or the ways they act influence how you feel.